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Surviving a breakup can feel impossible, especially if you didn’t really want the relationship to end. But even if you were the one who decided it was over, it can feel crummy to have such an important part of your life end. There are three important things you can to help with surviving a breakup.

First, let yourself be sad. It’s natural to not want to feel sad. None of us likes to be upset or depressed. But when a relationship ends, no matter who ended it, you lose a part of your life. If you haven’t been dating long, the sad period probably won’t last that long. But for a long-term relationship, you might be sad for a long time.

It’s important, as painful as it is, to allow yourself to feel that way. The tendency is to avoid those feelings and try to move on to something that feels better. But being sad is a necessary step in the healing process.

Letting yourself feel the sadness will let you deal with the emotions and the pain. Remember that surviving a breakup is more than just moving on. If you can deal with the bad feelings, you’ll be better to able to experience the good feelings that come when you’ve moved on.

Second, keep busy. You have to deal with the sadness and not deny it or push it aside, but that doesn’t mean you can or should let yourself wallow in it. If you feel like spending the entire day in bed crying, you can let yourself do that. But the next day, even if you feel that way again, make yourself do something else.

Let yourself cry for an hour, and then find an activity to help distract you. Even if it’s only watching a movie, at least you’ll be able to concentrate on something else for brief periods of time.

Keep in mind that no matter how “active” your activity might be, sad thoughts and memories will still creep in. Even if you’re solving a hard puzzle and concentrating to distract yourself, now and then a memory will pop up and your mind will be back on the breakup. This is normal.

You just have to deal with the feeling briefly and not let it sidetrack you. Feel it, cry for a bit if you need to, and then keep concentrating on your activity. Soon, the sad thoughts and feelings will pop up less and less when you’re doing other things.

Finally, decide to forgive your ex. Surviving a breakup isn’t just about leaving one relationship and looking for another.

You need to resolve things in the old relationship to help you be more emotionally healthy in the next relationship. If you were hurt in the relationship, forgive your ex for his or her part in that.

This might seem an impossible task. Start by realizing that it really does take two, and that surviving a breakup is more important than having someone to blame for it.

When you’re getting over a breakup, life can feel upside down. The longer you were with your ex, the longer you will probably feel like you’re living a different life. And if you were a really close couple, getting over a breakup can be even harder, sometimes to the point that you feel like it’s not worth getting out of bed in the morning.

When your life changes drastically as it does when a relationship ends, everything can feel a bit surreal. You’re used to a person being near you a lot, and suddenly that person is nowhere to be found. It’s common to have this painful sense of missing something vital, just from having your ex suddenly absent from your life.

And painful or upsetting memories seem to be everywhere. You sat on that couch together and watched movies. He fixed the lamp in your bedroom that you use every night. You went to that restaurant with your friends every couple of weeks.

If you have mutual friends, the pain can often be even worse because you know they’re close to both of you, and the group you used to hang out with has now been splintered by the breakup.

Often, because of these types of things, a person getting over a breakup will make more drastic changes in an attempt to make the other changes feel better. You might stop going to familiar places that you used to frequent with your ex. You might avoid his favorite foods.

Some people even sleep on the couch or in another bed for a while because the memories in their own bed are too painful. These kinds of feelings are normal and the feelings you have when avoiding those types of things can make things feel easier for a while.

But if you just keep living your life as you always had, eventually the things that you really do need to change will become apparent. These things can be as small as putting away a picture of the two you, moving it to a location where you won’t see it as much, or maybe adjusting your circle of friends.

It’s important to continue to live your life when getting over a breakup. And while it’s perfectly natural to not want to spend a lot of time in a place where you spent lots of time as a couple, the sooner you can go there and learn to enjoy it on your own or with other people, the better off you’ll be.

If you make too many drastic changes now, you can end up feeling even worse about things. You can make your life unrecognizable from the way it was before, which is jarring and not necessarily healthy, no matter how it seems at the time.

Changing too many things is a form of denial. So when getting over a breakup, try to keep your schedule and your habits the same as they were before and soon you’ll recognize the changes that really will benefit you.

Healing a broken heart isn’t something that can happen overnight. Unfortunately, there’s no magic wand you or anyone can wave to make you feel better. But there are a few things you can do to make healing a broken heart a little faster and easier.

Surround yourself with people who have a positive attitude. The people you hang out with have a lot to do with your general level of happiness and your state of mind. This holds true every day of your life, not just when you’re heartbroken over a breakup.

If you spend your time with very intelligent people who have thought-provoking conversations, you’ll tend to use your brain more, too. If you spend time with people who practice bad habits like smoking or drug use, or even eating foods that are unhealthy, you’re more likely to do those things.

So if you spend your time with people who feel like love is only for a chosen few and that all men or women are faithless, you might start to adopt those attitudes. If your best friends are pessimists or always depressed, you’re setting yourself up to adopt those same feelings.

Surrounding yourself with positive people every day can help lift your spirits and make you a more positive, hopeful person. This is especially important when you’re working on healing a broken heart.

If everyone around you is a downer, they may try to help you heal but they’ll do it in a negative way. “He was probably cheating on you anyway.” “He was a loser.” “He was holding you back.”

Even though they mean these things to be helpful, all that negativity makes an impact. But positive people will offer suggestions and support in a different way.

“There’s something better waiting for you.” “Now you can do that thing you wanted to do but couldn’t.” “You have so much to offer someone else.” Support like that is just better for your overall mood than support springing from a negative outlook.

And positive people are just more hopeful in general, about everything. Instead of fretting about not doing well at something, they realize that failure is possible but choose to focus their energies on the hope of success. This is one of the key to success in life—believing that it’s possible.

By spending more time with hopeful, positive people when healing a broken heart, you can adopt those bright attitudes in every aspect of your life. Not only will the hope you’ll start to feel help your heart to heal, but you can see improvements in all of your relationships.

When you learn to look for the positive in every situation instead of dwelling on the negative, you’ll find that you’re more open to possibilities than ever before. You’ll start to expect good things, which paves the way for them to happen.

When healing a broken heart, not only can hope help it happen, it can help prepare you to enjoy a new relationship that’s bound to be better that the old one!

Ending a relationship is one of the hardest things we sometimes have to do. It’s difficult when you’re the one that gets dumped, but even if it’s you ending a relationship, there are many painful emotions to deal with.

It’s especially difficult if the relationship is ending over things that don’t seem that important but ended up being insurmountable. Breakups are easier when one person is cheating or treating the other badly. At least when you break up with someone you know that you won’t be subjected to that behavior anymore.

But when you’re ending a relationship over things you might normally think of as small things you can end up doubting your decision a lot, especially right at first when things seem loneliest. It’s all too easy to convince yourself that things weren’t so bad after all, you miss your ex, and you should just get back together with him or her.

It’s important, however, to stay strong after you’ve broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. And if you find yourself doubting your decision, you need to think back to the things that made you want to break up in the first place.

When there’s no specific horrible thing like cheating or abuse to think on, it can be easy to tell yourself that the relationship wasn’t so bad after all, and you must have just been exaggerating. But really examine your feelings.

If you ended the relationship because he was just not there for you when you needed him, think back on how you felt when you really needed a shoulder to cry on and he wasn’t there, or he wasn’t open for that. Is it likely if you get back together with him that he’ll start being there for you? Hadn’t you already told him you needed that time and time again?

If it just didn’t feel “right” and you just didn’t have strong enough feelings for him, then when you find yourself sad and lonely it can be really easy to tell yourself you were wrong. You might decide that you can develop feelings for him, and that you just didn’t try hard enough before.

This might be the hardest thing to keep believing, because it is very easy to second guess ourselves when ending a relationship. But sometimes we can like someone, and even feel love for them, without the possibility of that ever turning into romantic love.

No matter how hard you try, if you’re not in love with someone and they’re just not the one for you, you’re not going to be able to force it to happen. Focus your energies on something else instead.

If you were close and you miss him but could not feel that special romantic love for him, really work hard at figuring out how you feel now. There’s no rule that says you can’t keep a close relationship with an ex. Ending a relationship completely might not be necessary, because you could end up being the best of friends.

After a relationship breakup, everything in the world can seem bleak and depressing. The most important thing to remember is that this is a normal reaction. Anytime anything “bad” happens to us, we go through a period of grieving. A relationship breakup is no exception.

When a relationship ends, you have a loss. There’s the loss of a person from your life who you’ve spent lots of time with. The intimacy you shared with this person now feels gone, and it’s common to think you’ll never have or sometimes even want that with another person. Breaking up can simply feel like the end of the world.

But it’s not! You need to put your ex boyfriend or girlfriend in the proper perspective so you can move on. This isn’t easy to do, but it’s important that you start trying as soon as possible.

You’ll get tons of advice on how to deal with a relationship breakup. You’ll everything from “burn all your pictures” to “hop back on the horse and find another relationship.” You will know which approach is best for you, no matter what anyone says. Don’t try something that worked for someone else if it doesn’t feel right.

Give yourself permission to feel bad at first. Whenever you have a loss you go through the same stages of grief as you do when there’s a death or any type of ending, with the degree of feeling varying from situation to situation.

1. Denial is the first stage of loss after anything difficult like the end of a relationship. This can’t be happening!

2. Next, pain and guilt set in after the shock and denial start to fade.

3. Anger comes next, as does something called bargaining. If I do this or don’t do that, maybe we can get back together. I’ll never look at another man as long as I live, if only . . . .

4. Depression and loneliness set in once it’s clear that bargaining won’t change the painful truth.

5. The next step is the lessening of depression when things start to seem a little better.

6. Then comes the hard part of working through it and getting past it.

7. The last stage of grief after a relationship breakup or any loss is acceptance, and hope for a better future.

It can help to try to figure out which stage you’re in, and to know that everyone experiences something along these lines. Not everyone will go through every stage and they might not even be in order.

You might never start bargaining, for instance, especially if you know it’s really and truly over. But most people’s grief process will follow that general pattern. It’s important to recognize that there is a final stage, and that stage means you’ve gotten past it.

Try to put your relationship breakup into perspective with other important things that have happened and will happen in your life, and remember that you’ll eventually get to the acceptance stage, too.

When you try to figure out how to get over a breakup, you’re going to get lots of advice. And no matter what people tell you and how much they claim you’ll feel better soon, you should know that learning how to get over a breakup is a painful thing

Unfortunately, there’s just no easy way to do it. The pain and hurt from the lost relationship is there and it has to be dealt with. It’s human nature to want to push those feelings aside and move right on to good feelings to take their place. No one wants to hurt!

But you do yourself a disservice if you deny those sad and painful feelings. Let yourself feel them, but don’t let yourself feel them and nothing else. You have to continue to live your life while feeling them.

This is really hard for some people. The key is to make yourself do things you normally do even if it hurts. You’ll be surprised how quickly this approach works. At first, you’ll have a few minutes without thinking about the relationship, and then the span will be longer. Eventually, you’ll be able to spend a few hours without thoughts of your past relationship popping into your mind.

When you’re learning how to get over a breakup, especially at first when it’s hard to concentrate on anything else, you might feel like it’ll never pass. But the more you push yourself to get past it, the faster it will happen.

As soon as you can (and even if you don’t think you can, try to), schedule some fun activities into your days and weeks. Doing things that you love is good first step in how to get over a breakup. Whether it’s watching movies with your favorite actors and actresses, or going skiing, pick things that are special to you

Choose activities that you love—and that you loved before your relationship. If skiing or any activity is really special to you but you did it a lot with your ex and it’s liable to only make the memories worse, you can choose something else.

But realize that eventually you will want to do that activity again, and those memories will be there waiting. Don’t let yourself avoid something you love because you’re worried it’ll remind you of your ex boyfriend. That’s just a form of denial.

Make sure that you do something every day that you love. Bigger and more time consuming activities can be scheduled on days when you have the time, of course. But fit something in every day to be good to yourself.

It’s especially helpful if you can choose activities that you’ve been wanting to do but maybe didn’t have time for because of the relationship. A novel you wanted to read but couldn’t because you spent your spare time with your ex, for instance, is a good choice.

It’s hard to learn how to get over a breakup, but keeping yourself busy with things you enjoy can make the sad times pass more quickly.

You need to say sorry to your boyfriend for something you did, but you’re not sure of the best way to do it. Saying sorry is actually pretty easy once you get the hang of it. Of course, a lot depends on what you’re apologizing for. If it’s a small thing that hurt his feelings, disappointed him or upset him, you can say sorry to your boyfriend a simply as, “I’m sorry.”

If you feel that a simple apology isn’t enough, however, there are other ways you can show your regret. Something that any boyfriend should appreciate is a heartfelt apology that lets him know you understand why he was upset and that you understand the part you played in causing it. When you say sorry to your boyfriend, just express yourself honestly.

If you’re nervous about doing so, you can make notes ahead of time and even rehearse a little bit. Just tell him that you’re sorry for whatever it was that you did, and that you know it made him feel angry (or upset or disappointed, whatever feeling applies). Explain that it wasn’t intentional, and you should have thought things through better before you did whatever it was that caused his pain.

You can say it a few times to yourself if you’re worried, and then it’ll be easier to say it when you’re looking him in the eye. If you really have problems saying all that out loud—and that’s possible in some situations—then you can say sorry to your boyfriend by writing it down.

A simple letter explaining how you feel and how sorry you are is something he should appreciate. Knowing that you took the time to get your feelings and your apology down on paper should go a long way toward easing the hurt.

It’s actually easier to go on longer and express more when you’re writing an apology as opposed to saying it, too. If you don’t want to write a long letter you don’t have to. It can be just a few lines if you’d rather just write what you would have said.

In a case like, consider using a card to write your apology in. You can buy greeting cards for any occasion today if you find a large card and stationary store. Cards that say I’m sorry are a pretty popular category. Find the right one for your boyfriend, whether it’s sincere or funny, and write an apology note on the inside.

Whether or not a gift is an appropriate thing to use to apologize to your boyfriend depends on the situation. If it’s a pretty minor thing, a gift might not be necessary. But surprising your boyfriend with something special can certain make it easier for both of you to get over the situation.

In some situations, though, it might seem as if you’re trying to buy forgiveness with a gift, and you don’t want that. Say sorry to your boyfriend with words, a note or a card, and save the gift buying for later.

If you have a Scorpio boyfriend, you’ve paired up with one of the passionate signs of the Zodiac. He won’t just be passionate in love and lust. His passion spreads to everything he does. He’ll be passionate about all of his interests, his job, his work and play, and if he loves you, your Scorpio boyfriend will be passionate about keeping you happy.

Scorpio’s are driven, but they know how to balance work and play most of the time. Scorpios tend to be more impatient that some other signs, too. While a Capricorn man might make a long-reaching plan and be content to plod away toward the goal, knowing he’s achieving it little by little, a Scorpio man would rather make one broad leap toward the end.

Scorpios also love luxury. Especially if he hasn’t much in his life, once he discovers the little things that make a person feel pampered, he won’t want to be without them. Eating at nicer restaurants, seeing movies in a better theater with larger more comfy seats and better sound—these little things are important to him.

One of the drawbacks of this love of luxury is a Scorpio’s tendency to go to extremes and excess. Sometimes a Scorpio boyfriend can appear greedy when it comes to food, drink or anything else that can be taken to an extreme. Overdoing it is a hallmark of being born during this sun sign.

The Scorpio is represented by a scorpion, and we all know that scorpions have pincers and stingers in their tails. So watch out when Scorpios get angry! While many are slow to really get angry, once they lose their temper it’s well and truly lost.

Some Scorpios actually have very short tempers and stay angry for a long time as well. But most Scorpios, just as they take other things to excess, can stay angry for huge amounts of time over small things. A Scorpio can hold a grudge for a lifetime.

Your Scorpio boyfriend will also have a very fine-tuned sense of reality. So don’t bother trying to trick him or fool him, because he’ll probably see right through it. Some Scorpios seem to have built-in lie detectors or those proverbial eyes in the backs of their heads.

A Scorpio’s sense of truth often leads to them being very blunt. Many are unflinching when it comes to things like death and dying, with black humor and gallows humor being a Scorpio favorite.

If you’re a Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn, you have the best compatibility. Those are earth signs, while a Scorpio is a water sign. If you’re a Cancer or a Pisces, both water signs like Scorpio, you should be compatible, too.

That’s not say another sign of the Zodiac can’t have a successful relationship with a Scorpio. But there might be more challenges along the way than if you were each more compatible signs. No matter what sign you are, if you really want to make thing work with your Scorpio boyfriend, you can!

The signs of cheating boyfriend are different in every case. Some are very subtle signs that you might already be seeing but not really noticing. And in some cases, the signs are very clear to everyone but you. That’s because some signs of cheating boyfriend are what is called “hidden in plain sight.”

Does your boyfriend get lots of cell phone calls that he steps into another room to take? You might not think this is one of the signs of cheating boyfriend, so you might have never paid much attention before. This is one of those “in plain sight” signs.

A boyfriend who gets lots of phone calls isn’t necessarily a cheating boyfriend. Maybe he just feels it’s rude to have a cell phone conversation in front of other people. Find out if he leaves the room when you call him, or if he talks to you no matter who’s around without taking it in private, if you can.

Leaving the room in itself isn’t always a sign. But notice if he’s secretive about the conversation. Does he tell you who it was sometimes? If you ask who called does he tell you without hesitation or does he get defensive? How he handles questions can be one of the signs of cheating boyfriend.

When he’s out without you, does he ever mention what he did? Is he all right with you asking (politely, not with an accusing tone) of who he might have been with and what they did? Most people who get defensive about these kinds of questions fall into three groups.

• They’re defensive because they have something to hide.
• They’re defensive because they don’t like to be asked as if they were doing something wrong.
• They don’t like being asked AND they have something to hide.

If you’re asking nicely and not drilling him, he shouldn’t have any problem answering your questions unless he has something to hide. He should actually want to answer you to put your mind at ease that nothing has gone on.

Some cheating signs are even more subtle. Does he try to keep you far away from his friends? Some guys manage that by having their time with their buddies and their time from you as separate. And often it’s played up to be for you, so you can spend time with him alone.

But if he really makes an effort to keep you away from his friends, you have to wonder why. If he’s cheating, he’s probably not worried about his friends spilling the beans. They’re his friends, after all, and would have no reason to tell you what he’s doing.

But he might be worried that if they act strangely around you because of that, you might pick up on it. Insider remarks and jokes that they think you won’t get could be something to tell you something’s wrong here.

Whether or not he takes you around his friends in that case could be one of the signs of cheating boyfriend.

Creative boyfriend gifts can cost very little. It’s the time you spend finding the right idea for your boyfriend and then creating the gift or planning everything out that counts. You can’t put a price on creative boyfriend gifts you make from the heart.

While that pair of tickets to the latest rock concert is probably a great gift, it’s not always possible to spend that kind of money on a gift. But it’s always possible to do something nice and surprise your boyfriend with a meaningful gesture. Creative boyfriend gifts can really be as simple as a meaningful note.

A love note, a note of encouragement, or even a love letter written on feminine stationary and sprayed with your favorite perfume can be something that really makes his day special. You could even send it through the mail to make it extra special.

If you’d rather not wait, then let it stick out between the pages of his book or put it on top of the TV remote. Just be sure you leave where he’s certain to find it right away.

Some creative boyfriend gifts don’t cost much in anything but time. Bake him a batch of his favorite cookies and wrap them in a pretty ribbon. Make him a loaf of banana bread, or some cinnamon rolls, or whatever his favorite treat might be. You could even make his favorite dish and surprise him with an impromptu dinner.

His favorite meal along with a favorite dessert served by you, with candlelight, of course, is one of those great gifts everyone should love to receive. To make the evening extra special, buy a DVD he wants and wrap it up for you to watch after the meal.

For the movie lover, a movie-night basket is a great idea. Buy a couple DVDs you know he wants (or include a gift certificate for a movie rental) throw in a package or two of microwave popcorn or stovetop popcorn, a couple of boxes of movie-type candy, and a couple cans or bottles of soda pop.

You could also surprise him with a framed photo of the two of you together in a decorate frame. You can purchase blank frames in most craft or department stores. Decorate the frame in his favorite colors, or use your prettiest penmanship to write all around the edge about how special the moment was when you were photographed together.

A scrapbook of your couple pictures with notes like that after each picture is a great gift, too. Write about how much fun you had when the picture was taken, how wonderful he was that day, and anything else that you want to express.

Does he talk about learning to cook, paint, draw, swim or anything else? Surprise him by paying for a lesson. Take a cooking or painting class together. Surprising him with a “how to draw” book and an assortment of drawing pencils. You’ll find the most creative boyfriend gifts are usually the most thoughtful.