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Posts Tagged ‘couples’

I’m not that old, so I don’t know for sure, but it seems like these days we make everything so much more complicated than it needs to be. That is especially true when it comes to relationship couples seem to find it so hard to figure out the problem and many times the problem is a small and simple thing.

One analogy I often use is that of a stone wall. Think of your relationship. Every time you do or say something that hurts or annoys your partner, it’s like adding another stone to the wall. A couple stones here and a few stones there don’t matter all that much, you can still easily step over the wall to be close to your partner.

And, if you apologize, and make permanent changes, to the behaviors that caused your partner pain or annoyance, you can even remove a stone sometimes.

But if you do like most couples do, and you continue to add stones after stones after stones, and you don’t remove any, you will find it virtually impossible to connect with your partner. By that point it will be very difficult and maybe even impossible to tear down the wall and have a meaningful relationship with your partner.

The trick is to make sure your wall never gets too high. How? Easy, talk. Just talk, don’t yell, don’t shout, don’t accuse…talk.

It’s very important each person in the relationship remembers that the other person has feelings too. When you are hurt and upset it’s very easy to make everything all about ‘you’. That won’t work.

If you take the time to realize that your partner has their point of view and remember, this has absolutely nothing to do with right and wrong, it’s simply about recognizing that each person has their own view of what has happened and you need to let them express that view without getting defensive or upset, you might actually find that you are on the same page…just a different sentence!

I’ve had that very same experience. My spouse and I had very heated discussions but once we calmed down and actually talked, and listened, we realized though we were saying it in different ways we were both saying basically the same thing!

Once you come to that place it will help you take a stone out of your wall and it can also help you in the future if you can remember that you and your partner probably aren’t all that far off from each other, you’re just expressing yourselves differently.

For the most part no matter what your age, gender, religious, or sexual preferences, everyone wants to feel love, respected, appreciated, and understood. You want that and so does your partner, when it comes to relationship couples will be much better off if they never lose sight of that. If you try to deal with your partner with those things in mind, and they do the same for you, your relationship will be much smoother, and there will be a lot fewer stones in your wall.

Worried the romance is fading from your marriage and looking for a ways to get it back. Rest assured there are plenty of little things you can do strike up that spark again. No matter deeply you’re love, romance tips can go a long way towards keeping “that lovin’ feelin’” alive for decades to come.

Schedule a date night

Heard this advice before, haven’t you? Sure, it’d be great to go out to a fancy restaurant once a week, but there’s a budget to keep and kids to watch. Who has the money or the time? Well, you probably do if you use a little imagination. Are you on a tight budget? Stay in and make a gourmet meal together. Can’t find a sitter? Try swapping kids with other parents—you watch theirs on Friday night and they watch yours on Saturday night.

Spice up your lovemaking

Even when you’re truly in love, romance tips for the bedroom tend to fall by the wayside when you’re trying to deal with everything else that goes on in life. If you feel the passion’s faded a little, put some real effort into reviving it. Take some time to actually talk about your turn ons and desires. Sometimes just a book on love-making ideas can be enough to get your motors running again.

Audit your behavior

For some reason, it seems the more familiar we become with someone, no matter how much we love that someone, we tend to forget our manners around them. We end up criticizing, nagging, and taking them for granted. It’s not comfortable to admit, but most of us develop a few bad habits overtime. That’s why it can help to take a cold, hard look at how you treat your spouse and work on less-than-loving behavior that might be killing the romance/

Have real conversations

Find you have nothing to say over dinner other than “How’s the roast?” or worse, can’t think of anything to say at all? If so, make talking to each other again a top priority PDQ. Remember, for those in love, romance tips that are effective don’t always on the roses and candlelight part. The foundation of romance is emotional intimacy and you’ll only reach through frequent, open conversations about the things that really matter.

Give more

Both common sense and sociological studies hold that the more each partner invests in the marriage, the more they generally get out of it. When one partner freely expresses their love, it sets off a cycle of giving and giving-back between you that’s hard to hold back.

The nice thing is that it only takes one partner to kick off the cycle.
You just want to make sure you don’t get stuck in the position where you’re being taken advantage of or feel resentment if you don’t get as much in return.

If you’re starting to feel like the average potato soup has more romance in it than your marriage does right now, it’s time to do something about it. A dull spell can lead to serious marital problems all too quickly. So, if you want to keep alive your love, romance tips like the ones above are a good place to start.