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Posts Tagged ‘service’

When you say “soldier” a picture of a fit and ready man comes to mind. But almost 15 percent of the U.S. armed forces are now women. So, in many cases, when you think about military personnel, a female soldier should come to mind. Because there now so many females in the military, there is an issue about dating service women.

Dating service women presents challenges that aren’t there when you are dating a civilian. She has obligations that her non-military sisters don’t have. For instance, she could suddenly be deployed to a war zone. She is also likely to be moved from base to base every couple of years. So dating service women means being prepared to follow their careers and support them when they need it.

If you are going to be dating service women, you need to know that although she is in a masculine profession (the military), she still wants to be treated like a lady. She’s “one of the boys” in her work life. She wants to be all female when she is with you.

You also need to invest time learning about the military in general and her specialty specifically. This means learning the acronyms that she spouts off at the drop of a hat. This is the way she communicates, and you need to be part of that.

You should also know something about military culture. Military law governs every aspect of a service woman’s life. No business can tell you that you can lose your job because of the person you date or put you in jail for something you did in your off hours. But, the military “owns” the enlisted person or officer. When dating service women, get to know the culture and the specific challenges they face.

There are times when you make plans with your girlfriend and she suddenly has to drop whatever it is you are doing and report to base. It doesn’t matter whether the event is really important to you. She has no choice in whether to go to your parent’s 50th wedding anniversary if she is called up on an emergency drill.

She will need you to keep her motivated. The military is still not a gender neutral place. If her career is important to her, you need to support her as she moves up the chain of command.

When dating a military woman, it is important that you support her decision to be part of the Armed Services. You may not agree with everything the military does, but she made the decision before she met you to be a part of serving her country. Unless she’s Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, she doesn’t have much control about military or foreign policy. Just as you wish she would be supportive of your work, you have to realize that her career is important to her.

There are many challenges in dating a service woman. But, when you fall in love with a military woman, you know a lot of things about her already. For instance, she fits into a larger organization. She’s physically fit. She pays attention to details. She is probably quite loyal and dependable. And, she knows what patriotism and love of country are. You could do a lot worse than dating service women.

Have you ever thought about using a dating service? Women and men both use these services, but the ratio is that more men will pay to get hooked up with a gal.

For instance, on Match.com, a dating service, women made up 40 percent of the dating pool while men made up 60 percent according to a recent survey. Also, men are more likely to pay for dating services with many paid programs allowing women to register for free while men have to pay a hefty fee.

Why is it that when it comes to a dating service, women are so reluctant to “put themselves out there?” It boils down to women not wanting to be seen as the aggressors in a relationship.

Women want to flirt, to be teased, to have a little bit of a dance before a date is made. On a dating website, these women have to come out and say “I want a date. Here are the things I want in a man. Here are the things I offer.” That’s too blunt for many women.

But that doesn’t mean that men should despair about using dating services. For instance, while many women won’t start by putting up a profile of their own, they may browse through the profiles men have created. Once they see someone who looks interesting, they may be willing to create a profile so that they can contact the person.

Further, while the odds are stacked in favor of the women, there are still a fair number of women in the dating data banks.

Here’s some advice about how to use a dating service. Women love specifics. Don’t blend into the crowd. A lot of men say they like walks on the beach at sunset. Instead, say something funny or different.

When you do make a declarative statement in your profile, use the word “because.” I like foreign films because they remind me of the time I spent in France as an exchange student in high school. I like anime because I love my inner geek. Not only does this explain your choices to your potential new girlfriend, it also helps you refine what you write.

But, you are not just writing about the things you have to offer in a relationship. You are also able to write about the things you want in a woman you are dating.

Too many men don’t take full advantage of this when using a dating service. Women aren’t helped by general terms like “no psychos please.” They need specifics too. They need you to weed out the women who you would never spend more than one short date with. If more women were confident that a dating service date would lead to a relationship, more women would use the service.

So, when using a dating service, women need you to be as specific as possible.